


Rubber Ring (girl!Mark/Dustin)

by ohnvm



Category: Social Network (2010)
Genre: Genderswap, girl!Mark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-18
Updated: 2011-11-18
Packaged: 2017-10-26 06:22:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/279707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohnvm/pseuds/ohnvm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt - Dustin and girl!Mark have been together for a while. And now, they're having a baby. I'd like to see the whole realization that they're expecting, pregnancy, birth, and maybe a little of the actual life with a child.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dustin's the one who gets really sappy on these things but it's obviously his fault that they're making an announcement anyway even if it's totally none of anyone else's businesses that Mark has been, what did Chris even use? Inseminated. Yes. _Inseminated_. So Mark has no pity for Dustin at all. But really, _inseminated_. For a guy who boasts about his social skills and help made history in America, Chris is still pretty fucking ridiculous when it comes to them. Not that Mark blames him because Mark's somehow ridiculous with Chris too. And Dustin. And Eduardo, but she's not here to talk about that.

No, she's here in front of the hundreds of heads that swiveled their way after Dustin walked in Facebook and yelled "minions, your masters have an announcement!" (even if he's no longer their semi-overlord)

Mark groans and buries her face in her hands.

She's learned the skill from Chris, who is also doing the same thing a few feet behind Mark because Mark asked him to fly west so she could tell him about the baby personally before she announces it to anyone else.

Except for her parents because her parents would probably skin her alive if she didn't let them know immediately.

See? Mark has changed, social cues and all.

"Mar—" Dustin starts but Chris suddenly steps forward and cuts him off with "Now, before anything else, I know some of you have worked for Facebook when I was still around and I heard from sources that I'm still apparently a legend here. So I need not remind you that if this gets out in public, I will make sure you won't get another job including menial labour after all the lawsuits I'm going to slap on your faces."

A few senior officers shudder remembering that one time someone posted a photo of Mark walking around the office without shoes or flip flops and it got out on the internet which started a whole ridiculous storm of _is Facebook where you really want to work_? and _Can't Be Tamed: Still CEO, Bitch_. and other ridiculous questionable articles. Chris managed to track the source down because you can't be friends with Dustin and Mark without picking up a few skills on hacking of your own and Chris managed to, like, find 20 different cases that can be filed against him. "Am I making myself clear?"

Mark sees all of them nod. Then Chris slapped Dustin's shoulder as he walked back to where he was standing before.

"Anyway, yeah, before one of my best friends rudely interrupted with a speech that could have made a boner appear in my pants if I'm not complete in love with your CEO," Dustin looks her way and bats his eyelashes.

Mark tries not to throw the nearest laptop at him.

"We just want you to know, we're having a baby."

There are few minutes where everyone just blinks dumbly at Dustin. Then Trevor, from sys ad walks forward and touches Dustin's stomach in awe. "You're knocked up?"

Dustin makes an indignant sound and reaches for Mark to pull her forward with her belt loops.

"No, idiot," she snaps out just to get it over with. "I am."

Trevor stares. So does everyone in the room. Chris starts shaking with silent laughter.

"No, what? With Dustin's child?"

"No, with Chris's. _YES_ , with Dustin's, you moron. Why aren't you fired yet?" Mark sighs before walking even more forward until she's standing in front of Dustin and glaring at the general direction of the room ( _CEO, Bitch still, bro._ ) "Okay, that's all. I'm pregnant. With a child in my uterus. I will no longer bleed from my vagina every month," a few males look horrified. Mark feels a little better. "Nothing is going to change in the offices except maybe me vomiting from time to time. That's it, we just wanted you to know first out of Dustin's sense of entitlement. Back to toiling, workers."

*

It doesn't really surprise her that Eduardo comes flying in the offices not 24 hours after Dustin's announcement.

When she gathers that no one is drowning in lawsuits, Mark resigns to the fact that it's probably Chris.

"Is this true?" Eduardo asks hoarsely as Mark clutches her laptop to her chest protectively after he ran in her office looking hysterical. Dustin, who for some reason isn't going back to his job as co-founder of another company, makes weird faces at them from the other side of the glass wall surrounding Mark's office.

Mark glares but lifts the hem of her shirt to show Eduardo her baby bump because she's not in the mood to use words when she can show him instead.

Eduardo gets this weepy look that reminds her of woodland creatures in Disney films that Dustin is unashamedly obsessed with. "I'm— Mark, I'm gonna be an uncle?"

Mark tries not to look just as weepy because she's been trying to get back to how she and Eduardo functioned before, only with less drunken fondling and with more friendly jibes. "Yeah," she breathes out, thinking about excel spreadsheets and puking just so she wouldn't start crying. "Yeah, Wardo, if you want to be."

Eduardo makes a choked noise when he hears _Wardo_. Then Mark is being tackled gently (how does Eduardo manage that even) and she is being hugged and she's totally going to blame her awry hormones for the tears that prickle behind her eyelids.

"Of course I want to be an uncle of your spawn, Mark," He whispers to her hair even if Mark's pretty sure she hasn't washed it in a week. "Someone's gotta try to make the kid retain some human interaction skills."

Then Dustin is barging in and yelling "GROUP HUG? GROUP HUG! CHRIS GET YOUR PASTY ASS OVER HERE AND BRING SEAN. GROUP HUG"

Two Seans appear with an incredibly exasperated-looking Chris.

"I feel like _I'm_ pregnant," Chris murmurs whilst clutching his head. Chris's Sean pats him on the back and reassures him of his masculine genitals.

"Ew, waiter, there are feelings in my food" Parker whines disinterestedly but Mark can totally see he's about to crack.

"Yeah, don't even pretend, man," Dustin chimes in. "You were the one weeping about ruining the OT4. It's okay, we forgive you."

Eduardo sighs. Mark says "okay, can we just get the group hug over with so I can pee?"

Dustin nods and wraps his arms around both of them. Then Chris wraps his arm around the three of them. Then Parker is trying to join but he gets dragged away by the other Sean who is taking photos with his iPhone.

"Yeah," Sean Parker breathes out trying to wipe his eyes. "Yeah, we're going to be fine". He tries to hug the other Sean.

"Don't touch my boyfriend with your petri dish of STDs, Parker," Chris says without even looking behind him.

*

Everything goes normal for everyone for about 8 months except for Mark whose feet get more bloated and bloated.

She also pretty much feels like a whale.

Every one cowers behind their desks and tries to do even more exemplary at their designated jobs. It's the first time Facebook's Caf floors gleamed under the white lights.

They were sitting around in Mark's office (because who cares if they're not doing their jobs right? As long as they can stare at her as she stares down her plate of fruits that Eduardo bought for her).

Then.

"My water just broke."

It turns out if Mark's water just broke, it also means all hell is about to break loose.

Mark tries not to pull anyone's hair when Eduardo and Dustin insist on making a mock chair made out of their arms as they try to carry her to the car.

 

*

They all shuffle in the private room Chris scheduled for her in advance.

Mark screams, ignoring the spit that she undoubtedly sprayed their faces with. They don't make any move to leave the room and the doctors are all turning a blind eye, possibly actually blinded by the digits Sean gave them to rent out the entire floor.

Sometimes, Mark resents having billionaire friends.

Then she gets a moment to enjoy their mortification when her legs go on stirrups.

"No, hey, it's okay, we're going to go out n—" Chris says in a horrified tone. Mark basically roars like a lioness.

Eduardo is standing frozen by Mark's side, her fingers wrapped painfully around his, unfalteringly soldiering on along with Mark. Dustin is sitting in the corner rocking back and forth. Sean is mumbling about buying out a factory of Trojan condoms. Chris looks like he's trying not to vomit.

"Okay, you need to push, Marcella,"

Mark makes an effort to pull herself up with her elbows just so she can glare at the condescending doctor with his hand near her vagina. "What do you _think_ I've been doing?" Her nose flares in anger. "Just clenching my vaginal walls for _fun_?"

Chris moans as if he's in pain.

Then Mark is screaming some more and cutting off Eduardo's blood flow enough that his fingers are starting to get blue. She is screaming and saying things like "Fuck the world, if you fucking put your dick in me again I will cut it off, Dustin!!!!" and "SEAN YOU BETTER HOPE YOU'RE BARREN OR I WILL SEND YOU TO ALL THE PEOPLE YOU ACCIDENTALLY IMPREGNATED" and "oh god please I promise to pray every night and sing praise songs oh god JUST GET OUT OF ME ALREADY THE WORLD IS A TERRIBLE PLACE BUT MY VAG IS NOT ANY MORE IDEAL."

At some point, Mark hears a loud slump that echoes around the room.

Chris fainted. Fabulous.

Her daughter apparently agrees because she is finally crying out and Mark is so exhausted but Eduardo is holding her hand and he is crying and Dustin is trying not to look too terrified when the doctor tries to give him the slimy baby. Sean is trying to, Mark doesn't know, become the spirit animal of the other Sean as he tries to wake Chris up by shaking his shoulders violently.

"I'm never going to have sex again," she hears Sean whisper, which Mark knows is a total lie.

"You're amazing, Mark," Eduardo pushes her hair back and kisses her forehead before making way for Dustin is grinning so hard, and crying a little and Mark can't help but feel an overwhelming surge of love for him and their daughter. She grins back helplessly and there may have been a few tears shed on her person as well.

"Mark, look we made a baby. Say hi to mommy, Ada, say hi to mommy."

It's the last thing Mark sees before she lets her exhaustion drag her to sleep.

*

It's not like she's not terrified of having a baby, okay? Mark totally knew she had to make adjustments especially on her skills on not eating the healthiest of things and not having the most ideal of schedules and somewhere along the way, Eduardo manages to channel her mom and all the other mothers in the world and turned into this terrifying motherhen that even made Chris cower back in fear once when he tried to school Mark on a statement she made on national news.

Eduardo even helped Dustin design the room they converted into a nursery because he basically kanyeshrugged his work in Singapore as if making up for all the moments he had not been around to take care of Mark like he did in college.

So it's not a surprise that Eduardo's the one who accompanies Dustin in a weeping session.

Mark manages, though. Because every time she sees Ada she feels a little too verklempt. She gets it now, why the adverts about baby milk usually has a mom tearing up at their child's face because it's exactly how Mark gets when she thinks of bringing this baby to the world; she gave life to this and it's her and Dustin only in one small body.

She hopes Ada gets Dustin's hair. Dustin hopes she gets Mark's eyes. Eduardo and Chris just watches over them fondly. Turning into rabid guard dogs whenever they go out to walk Ada around in a carriage that Sean Parker ordered custom made from Versace. Seriously, they're _all_ there when it's time to walk Ada down the neighbourhood. Dustin pushing the pram, Mark walking by his side, Eduardo walking on the other side, Chris walking in front and Sean watching the back.

But she doesn't blame them because Mark thinks she would multiply herself by eight if it would mean Ada would be safe from harm.

The one time a paparazzi tried to get in their way, Chris basically pulled out his cellphone and punched a few numbers in before pushing the phone in front of the paparazzo's face and saying "President Obama wants to have a word with you." The guy sort of paled and surrendered his cameras voluntarily after that.

The first time Ada gets sick, Mark started panicking enough to send the entirety of Facebook into a huge manhunt for the best paediatrician of the world. Parker shuts them up with "CEO junior has her own doctor, calm down," then he leads a panicked Mark into his car and drives her to where she left Ada in the care of a currently very high-strung Eduardo.

Dustin looks as scared as she is but she appreciates that he's the one who keeps it together this time when Mark is busy threatening everyone with "I will use a rusty spoon on your testicles if you don't tell me what's wrong right now" at the nurses on who tries to get in their way.

Turns out she's just having a cold, but Mark stays home anyway and sends Sean to cover for her in the company.

Dustin, Eduardo, Chris, and Mark all sit silently around the baby monitor so they won't have to resort to staring Ada down just in case she sniffles again.

Eduardo sends Mark to bed. Chris sends Dustin to bed. They take the baby monitor from Dustin's hands and promises to stand guard for them and wake them up if something remotely alarming happens.

Mark wordlessly curls up next to Dustin and allows him to wrap her up with his body.

 

*

On Ada's first birthday, basically everyone from Mark's family tree comes down to Palo Alto to ogle at the thing they didn't think Mark would even think about having. Presumably just to make sure her parents aren't just making up stories.

Mark tries to sulk but Dustin pulls her in the middle of their backyard and starts flailing their hands up and wriggling his hips dorkily, Mark couldn't help but laugh.

"You're doing a great job, honey," her mom said when Mark admitted her fears to her when they got a quiet moment earlier.

She watches Eduardo approach them with Ada in his arms before doing a fairly good imitation of Dustin's ritual-like dance without managing to drop her baby (HER BABY!). She watches as Sean Parker drags Sean and Chris and start doing what Eduardo's doing, only with flaily arms.

She does this robotic sort of jig that sends the six of them laughing uncontrollably as random family members and neighbours look on with amusement at the nerdy billionaires they would love to hate but are actually completely endeared with helplessly.

Yeah, Mark thinks, they're going to be alright.

*


	2. Epilogue

"Hello," Mark greets as she sits on the sofa and stares unblinkingly across her towards the guy who's about to take Ada out to prom.

"Good evening, Mrs Moskovitz," then he quickly looks at the three guys who flopped down next to him effectively trapping him in the middle of the sofa he's perched on"—and hello mister...s. Hello misters."

"I'm Dustin Moskovitz, Ada's father. You can call me Mr Moskovitz" Dustin offers him a hand which he shakes.

"I'm Sean Parker. Ada's favourite uncle, you can call me sir."

"And I'm Eduardo Saverin. The _actual_ favourite uncle. You can call me Eduardo" Eduardo looks like he's at least trying to look like he's not ready to hide the body of whoever tries to do anything less than orderly to Ada who's still upstairs with Chris.

Mark leans forward and tilts her head in the way usually freaks out people who are not Dustin, Chris, Eduardo, Sean, and Sean.

It still works.

The kid shudders.

"You're Benjamin Parker Thompson. 19 years old. Named after your mother's father. Your blood type is O. You were born in Stanford hospital on June fifth. Your doctor is Dr Gary Pascua. You plan on going to Stanford for college and major in Chemical Engineering. I could go on and on—"

"Mark." Eduardo chides, but he's nodding along anyway. Hypocrite. Dustin is just sitting back and watching Mark stare owlishly at Ben.

"—but I won't. There are countless missing persons all around America. Some of them might be dead, some may have just ran away, and some of them simply disappeared without any trace. I'm just going to remind you that my daughter better have her hymen intact when she returns before one in the morning tonight not a minute late—"

Mark leans even further so she can drum her fingers menacingly in front of Ben who goes paler by the second.

"Or you'll belong in the same statistics as those people who simply disappeared without a trace."

Sean nods sagely and pats Ben in the back comfortingly. "Think about it this way, dude. Either you promise not to do anything inappropriate to Ada, or we make sure your internal organs can't be found."

There are hurried footsteps and—

"Mom!" Ada shrieks as she finally makes her way towards where they are convening. "You promised you won't do it again!"

"I didn't."

"Then what are you doing!"

"I meant I didn't promise not to do it again."

"You did!"

"I shrugged. You chose to interpret it as affirmation."

Ada flounders in disbelief.

"DAD WHY ARE YOU NOT STOPPING THIS?" Dustin just smiles. Ada turns to where Chris is laughing weakly. "Uncle Chris!" then she turns to where Eduardo is sitting. "Even you uncle Wardo?"

"Yep."

"Jesus I can't even—"

"Why did you not even look at _me_ for help?" Sean asks sounding offended.

"Because you spread the rumours about me having syphilis!" Ada snaps out.

"That was only so no one would try anything!"

"Ada—" Then Mark is standing up and giving her daughter a smile that makes her smile back in return. She gets a mix of Mark's and Dustin's hair. Thankfully it's relatively manageable. She has Mark's eyes though. And her dimples. And no matter the impossibility, she has Chris's nose, Wardo's laugh, and Parker's wit.

Mark looks at the dress she wouldn't have been caught dead in and thinks about the fact that she didn't even go to her prom back in the day yet somehow Ada is turning out fine, social skills, sarcasm, wit, and loyalty in tact. "You look beautiful, Ada."

"Mom, you're just saying that." But she's red in the face.

"Yeah because I compliment people often, obviously." She leans down to kiss her on the forehead then hands her a swiss knife. "Just in case."

Chris makes a sound that's torn between horrification and approval.

"Benjamin. One AM." She warns as they make their way outside. "Or your body will not be found."

Ben nods sagely and proceeds to lead her to his car. Chris's Sean heads in the room as Chris was in the middle of saying "you know I'm impressed you actually allowed her to—" he sees his husband walk in. Then he squints at Mark suspiciously. "You didn't—"

Mark shrugs.

Chris's Sean laughs. "If you mean I didn't bug the kid's car and put a tracking device on it then that would be a no, I didn't."

Chris makes an indignant sound but Mark notices his breathing get a little more easier.

Mark smirks at him like she can tell what Chris is thinking.

**Author's Note:**

> Ada is named after [Ada Lovelace](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ada_Lovelace), in case you're wondering


End file.
